***Trigger warnings: Content speaks of topics such as emotional abuse and violence.

Each and every one of us carries blueprints and programming that we have created and been conditioned in. Some blueprints and programming we might not realise we are still following. We have phrases or cycles in our life that each brings different learning experience, either about others or ourselves. We come into this lifetime as babies, to children, to a teenager and become adults and age older. In our adult years, we create new cycles or phrases depending on how we have processed and dealt with our younger years.

Our younger years have impacted us more than we are willing to admit. Whether the evil touched us at a young age, abandoned, emotionally and mentally neglected or we didn't have our practical needs met. Whatever our ingredients to our dysfunction, it deserves acknowledgement. We have parts of those younger phases that will feel resentment, angry and hurt because certain needs were not met. For whatever reason, we have to remind ourselves that life isn't black and white. The things we have gone through our parents most likely gone through. It's the unconscious programming that has been passed down throughout the family generations.

Intergeneration trauma is passed through parental teaching. For example, our parents not knowing how to deal with their emotions properly passing down this lack of tool or suppression of heavier emotions or sweeping hard conversations under the rug.

Untreated PTSD that many of our grandparents and great grandparents experience due to the lack of awareness of mental health back in the days. They endured a time of war, sexism and many other social issues. Parental teaching has been passed down from generations after generations that the past bloodline hasn't seen the toxicity and dysfunction of this type of teaching. Leading our generation into this stagnant cycle of dysfunction. Being aware that we are on a cycle that not just the younger generations are on. But our entire bloodline has been on. We have to take into account the work and effort that our parents have put in to break certain cycles, behaviours, patterning or habits for us to be this aware of them. They contributed to our awareness, whether we acknowledge it or not. This cycle of dysfunction isn't going to disappear just because it's ignored. - Ignoring is an energy signature. It's the same as acknowledging, except we are not open to letting it go.

Not all hurt leave bruises:||

Violence isn't just putting your hands on somebody. It's also the use of intimidations, slamming and throwing item(s). Creating fear and discomfort. They don't have to hit you or leave marks on your body for them to be classified as abusive, violent or toxic.

Blaming violent actions towards our anger isn't taking accountability. It's shifting the blame for our action to our emotion. If we aren't aware or don't understand our emotions. It is an indication we need to sit with them and acknowledge them because if we don't, we will lash out and bleed on others who didn't create the root of our anger. Every single person in this world gets angry. It a normal emotion that everyone feels. What we do with our anger is the issue. If we are lashing out and acting in a harmful way then that the issue. The action we do when we feel angry is the issue. There is never an excuse for harmful and abusive behaviours.

SIGNS/EFFECTS:||

These are some of the signs of emotional abuse in a romantic relationship: // Treating suicide, preventing them from seeing friends or family, making them feel guilty for refusing sex, undermining their self worth and self-esteem by constantly comparing them to others or putting all the blame on a partner for the all the relationship problems.

Emotional and mental manipulation/abuse that occurs from a parent(s) and children dynamic: // Creating low self-esteem, an increase of negative self-talk, self-doubts, higher risk of mental illness such as depression or anxiety, constantly feeling of guilt, not be able to process emotions properly or in a healthy way uses substance or risk behaviour to realise emotions.

Forgiveness, Empathy, Compassion & Kindness (FECK):||

I'm not a parent myself, although putting myself in a parent's shoes; coming terms to with the effects that a parent might have caused to these harm to their own can bring up shame, guilt and unhealed wounds they didn't know they had or ignored.

Either way, it is hard coming to terms to this because as a parent, they are forced to take accountability and look at their past traumas on why they behaved this way. Our parents are human too. They too have gone through experiences they haven't spoken about to their children. There are things we don't know about our parents. As young children, we have this concept that we know our parents like the back of our hands and they can do no wrong. Although growing up, we realize that they try to shield us from the evil and danger of the world from what they have experienced. They were doing their best with the information they knew and know now. Each of their experience has shaped them into who they are now.

So if we sit and think for a second of how and has happened for our parents or others to turn angry and bitter. The experiences and situations they had gone through make them end up so angry and bitter. Because I believe that no one ends up angry and bitter without pain and suffering. All behind anger and resentment is a pain and a need that wasn't met when we were younger or acknowledged. That our parents and others still carry with them and that has projected through parental teachings and how they interact with their children and other loved ones. Because everyone has an inner child that needs healing and a voice.

BluePrints:||

We have to feel, acknowledge our own emotions that came with our childhood and still lingering around us now. We transmute the blame into understanding that our parents did the best they could and also balance the acknowledgement that even though they were unconscious it still hurts and we are valid to feel hurt for not having our needs met. It's learning to balance both. We have to feel what we have been repressing to order to let it go. There is no other way to do it. We can use short term fixes although it's not going heed the result for the long run.

I know it's hard and confronting. Each phrase and cycle we complete has this ease and wisdom that when going through the hard times or diving deep within we come out brighter and lighter. When we are in the depth of our shadow self remember the work is showing light to those parts of ourselves. Those parts of ourselves that have taken actions that we regret and understand that came from a place of hurt. Showing compassion and forgiveness is how we bring those to light.

Nothing in life is ever black and white. There are shades of grey and other colours too making each experience unique or similar but never the same. There are areas that we are not always right in and others we are. There are also areas that either of the parties is wrong nor right because each one has had a different experience, perspective, lesson or truth in that area. It's giving each other basic human decency of respect and understanding that each individual has hurt and wound that needed healing.

The blueprints we carry that helps us identify Love has been skewered because of our upbringing. Making us believe the love we receive is simply good enough because it is what's familiar. When in reality every one of us deserves a Love that doesn't destroy our self-esteem or make us question our worth.- Love isn't supposed to do that. If it does, it's not Love but an attachment that has masked its self as Love.

With our Free Will, we make the decision of whether we attach ourselves to Love we have always known or take a leap of faith that there is unconditional Love out there?

Be Kinder, Less Critical.