Mental illness is misunderstood and miscommunicated. Each and one of us have experienced a level of Anxiety or Depression. Those two illnesses that many are being exposed to right now, especially during COVID lockdowns. Although there are plenty of other illnesses that many people go through such as Bi-polar, Schizophrenia, Psychosis, Borderline Personality Disorder, eating disorders and many more. In the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) there is nearly 300 mental illness listed in that book. Majority of people are not aware of this and are not exposed to it. Although, there are others who are exposed to mental illness every day either experiencing it or someone around them is.
Mental illness carries so many stigmas, bias and prejudices. It also carries a weight of lack of education of the reality of mental illness. Not just with the signs and symptoms but what it does to our body, mind and soul. Our brain is the engine to the entire body system. Our brain is the backbone of our wellbeing. When our brain begins to malfunction and not get a certain level of chemicals that are needed to function in our day to day lives. We begin to get sick, just like any other illnesses we go through in our body. Any muscles we strain and hurt we have to go to the doctors and get it looked at which then requires caring and healing for. That is exactly the same as for our brain. Where mental illness is operating, the difference is its completely inside our mind. There are no visible wounds that show we are suffering from it. Unless we open up about it and even then it's daunting opening up about.
We are conditioned and live in a society that creates and benefits from our mental illness. Where we were assigned gender roles before we were out of the womb. Where were taught that emotions were either feminine or masculine and negative or positive? Where being praised for being strong which looked like constantly smiling and being dominate. Where vulnerability was taught as a weakness and a lack of self-control. - When in reality vulnerability is one of the best and useful way to connect with someone in a deeper level. A level that most of us crave for. A level that makes us feel seen, heard and understood. Vulnerability is seen as something not to be proud of and somehow shamed. When in reality vulnerability take courage and bravery to be able to share ourself in such a way we were never taught. Which we've internalised as shameful and judge towards ourselves and others who is open to being vulnerable. Vulnerability takes guts and bravery to show our authentic self in a world that benefits from fakery and facade.
Being diagnosed with a mental illness is something not hide or be ashamed of. It's something to acknowledge that we are ill, which is exactly what mental illness is. A sickness/illness that is occurring within our brain. The part that helps us function and operates our entire body system. Without our brain, we become vegetables.
I believe the first step in stepping over stigmas and prejudice is being able to open and embrace mental illness. We can not remove the stigmas if we are not able to speak about the main topic. Acknowledging our illness for exactly what it is which is an illness. An illness that we can heal and recover from. It's not a permanent state, our brain is so complex and amazing that we can rewire our connections within it. Creating a better wiring pattern that will heal our mindset and change the way we move in life. It's a journey that requires effort and work although it's such a rewarding work to do. As we begin to heal and discover ourself outside of our illness.
Mental illness will not look the same for everyone. It will have different shapes, shades and sizes for anyone who’s experiencing it. This does not mean we don’t deserve healing because we’ve told ourself ‘oh it’s not that bad it could be worse’. This type of narrative dismisses and we actually gaslight ourself into thinking we do not need healing. When we do this to ourself, we denial parts of our reality and ourself. We create this shame and judgement within ourself which we then projected onto others and our external environment.
Having to acknowledge that we are not doing okay and our emotions and feelings feel heavy, can be the first stepping stone to letting go of the narrative we tell ourself. Permitting ourself to feel what we are feeling without dismissing and gaslighting ourself.
Mental illness is not a justification for acting poorly or toxic. Our illness does not define us. When we begin to heal, accountability comes within that process. When we begin to accept ourself and our actions whether out of pure intention or from a place of hurt. We can’t deny others realities of how they’ve experienced the interaction they’ve had with us.
This isn’t a time where we welcome more shame and judgement. It’s just about holding ourself accountable that when we are hurting we tend to want to hurt others too. For whatever reason it might be, it doesn't justify that our behaviours were toxic and had poorly affected others around us. - That saying 'Hurt People, Hurt, People' is very true. We tend to have a desire to hurt others just the way they've hurt us. Which is linked to the narrative we have told ourself. That nobody knows or will understand how we feel, so instead of expressing it. We have to show them through our actions on how they've made us feel.
This also links back to stigmas and prejudices we have adapted and currently programmed within our society today. Which is that victim mentality, where we give our power away by blaming instead of taking accountability of healing ourself. Nobody is the world had a choice of what family and environment we were born. That is something nobody in the world had control over. As children, we are vulnerable and in a sense powerless. Although the beauty in being in our adulthood, we can take and stand in our power. Not just by taking accountability for our actions, also taking accountability for our past. Finding the blessing within them our experiences. Although a disclaimer; before we can find the blessing within our traumas and experiences we have to heal the emotional aspects of it. The pain, the wounds, the scars that are attached to our traumas and experiences; we have to attend to them before we can see the blessing within the storm.
The stigmas, bias and prejudices that many of us experience is the global pandemic. In the context of mental health, the judgement and shame someone experiences because of an illness they can't help or have control over is detrimental. Stigmas, bias and prejudices are not personal issues, it is a social issue. That is happening on a global scale. We have to begin working on our own stigmas, bias, and prejudices to be able to tackle it as a collective. We all have to be on the same page on tacking an issue that many of us are exposed and affected by on the daily.
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Where do judgment and shame come from?
Judgment and shame are something we have all experienced in some shape or form. Either from others or ourself. Those two aspects are not normal emotions. They are just chemical reactions that we get when we receive information that doesn't support our Ego's narratives. They also come from how we have been conditioned during our upbringing and from our interpersonal relationships throughout our life.
When we experience these being projected to us during our childhood we internalise it. We begin to create narratives and blueprints that ties to judgement and shame. As children, we want to be seen, heard and understood by our loves ones around us. When that isn't reciprocated we internalised these behaviours they acted towards us. Either by pushing away our own needs, shaming and judging our work etc. there are many other examples and experiences that each individual have gone through that is tied with their own internalised shame and judgement.
The main cause of judgement and shame is hurt and pain that many experienced as children. Those same hurt and pain have been buried underneath all the social conditioning, the family and friends dynamics, the education system, the work lifestyles etc. Many will not be aware that we carry those weight till this day through the judgement and shame we project onto others. Because in some aspects of our life we have experience judgement and shame but instead of pulling ourself back and creating a healthy inner dialogue to process those projections. We internalised it and push it away deep within ourself. Pretending that it didn't hurt and that we were not affected by it. Although if we were honest with ourself we will come to terms that we were hurt and it did affect us.
It doesn't matter what ingredients we have for our hurt, pain or trauma it doesn't change the fact it's still pain, hurt or trauma.
The social conditioning made us believe that we have to compare every aspect of ourself to others. Maybe not to feel good but to be able to relate in some way or form. Although, when we begin to try to 'one-up' others in the context of pain or even beauty it becomes toxic. That behaviour of wanting to be better than others is toxic and creates such unpleasant energy to be around. - We should never compare our pain, trauma, beauty and life with others. It's unhealthy and creates more internalised shame and judgement, which then we project. It's this continues cycle we go on and we have to break them to stop experiencing them. We have to be able to break those cycles within ourselves first and become aware of the narratives that we have been re-telling ourself.
It begins with questioning the conscious and the unconscious narratives we are holding on to. - Was it from our conditioning or was it something we created because of an experience that was out of our control? Did it keep us safe at some point in time? Does it still align with who we are today in the present moment?
It is being able to reflect and unpack our life without having to create more judgement and shame. This can be done on our own, although we might not feel confident or even know how to do it. So it's best if we go to a professional who is trained in looking into mental health issues.
I'd like to emphasise that seeking professional help in regards to anything is not something to judge or be ashamed of. There is nothing wrong with wanting to heal and know more about ourself and the illness we suffer from. Being open to professional help doesn't just benefit us, it also benefits our love ones. It can be daunting to seek professional help when it's something we are not used to or some cultural conditioning, although it's a way of stepping into healing. Just because we seek professional help does not mean we will continue it for the rest of our life. It's about having a safe space to unpack and reflect on ourself and our experiences, without judgement, shame or bias. A professional worker's job is not to judge or discriminate against us. Their job is to create a safe space and give us unbiased and professional viewpoint on what we are disclosing.
Our trauma stays in our nervous system until we are consciously aware they are there and ready to be healed. Majority of people are not aware of this. They are not aware they are following till this day a blueprint and programming that they made from a place of wound and pain. It's just bringing these hidden blueprints into our awareness. It's not easy to accept these concepts although there is this saying my therapist told me which was "you have to go through it before you can overcome it." In the context of our emotions, we have to be able to feel them, sit with them and befriend them to be able to let them go. We can not let go of something we have repressed and denied for many years.
From personal experience of trauma and mental health healing, I had these narratives of "why am I not over it yet" or “it happened years ago, I got the help then”. I use to punish, judge, shame myself for feeling the way I did. It was because I lacked knowledge about mental illness and trauma. I also didn’t understand my own emotions and I was afraid to dive in them. It was because those emotions, feelings and inner wounds were created from my traumas which still lingered around my nervous system. - Which operates our emotional responses. That's why when we feel triggered we lose it because of all the build-up emotions, and feelings we have repressed and still holding on to unconsciously. Which then ties back around to having to heal ourself and being open to professional help. Which then links us back to our prejudices and stigmas on seeking professional help with mental illness or even acknowledging we are mentally unwell.
Everything links and ties back to one another. That’s why it’s important to just focus on one thing, which is our own mental health. When we heal ourself, we also heal the aspects of our own stigmas, bias and prejudices. We also break the cycles of the narratives, blueprints and programming we have adapted and have been following. We also lead by example to those around us and to others who have the desire to heal. We also step into our power and our true authentic self, as we are not living through our past lenses. We’ve learnt to live through the present as the past no longer holds power over us.
We are moving to a new way of living. When we witness all the chaos and illusions being revealed on a global scale. We can see how much trauma, pain and hurt hold such a deep wound within our society. It’s not just within ourself and our bloodline. It’s a global pandemic. A pandemic that each and one us holds pain and hurt that is screaming and being projected to be acknowledged and healed. - We can not heal globally by focusing all our energy externally. We have to begin within ourselves and heal those parts within us. Which then links and ties with society through a global and collective scale.
As Within, So Without.
BE KINDER, LESS CRITICAL
