EMOTION: GRIEF
There are different types of healing and it will look different on everyone. Not many tell us this but we grief a sh*t tone during the healing process. We are grieving parts of ourself that we use to relate to and identified as. Griefing parts of our life that has helped us distract or escape from reality. Griefing doesn't have an expiry date or a timestamp on us, letting us know when it will end. Griefing has its own process and timeline. Not everyone will grief the same, just like healing. I do believe griefing is a need during the healing process.
Many of us have different things we have to grief for. Many that might be too painful to look into, creating a coping mechanism of escaping or repressing. We all have gone through things we don't want to ever speak about. That ignoring and denying is much easier than accepting the fact that we are wounded and hurting. Another thing not many will tell us is that healing can sometimes be harder than the experience. I think it's because when the event happened we didn't see it as a wound. We didn't anticipate the pain it would have caused or how much of an injustice it was. In our healing process, we are conscious of the wrongdoings or the wound it has created. That's why it hurts more sometimes because we can't wrap our heads around the creation of the wound in the first place.
Sometimes grief comes and go. Sometime we won't even feel the heaviness for days sometimes even weeks or months. Although it does pop up once in a while and sometimes it stays for only a day or two. Although there are times where it stays much longer, where we want to curl up in our bed and just lay there, till the heaviness fades.
Personally for me when dealing with grief I cry it out. I don't know how else to deal with it but with tears. I believe our tears are a physical manifestation of our emotions. If we notice that we can cry at almost any emotions. I also believe that there is no wrong or right way to grief or feel our emotions. As long as we are not harming others on the way, feel as you please.
Griefing is such a heavy process. Grief is something the majority of people don't feel comfortable speaking about. I believe that is because of how emotions are labelled as 'positive' and 'negative'. Which is absolute rubbish, as no emotions are ever negative or positive. I believe it's the intensity of the emotions that classible them as positive and negative. We also have been conditioned and programmed into thinking that our emotions are our enemy and feeling certain emotions makes us weak. When reality emotion is part of the human experience. Emotions are also an indication that we are a living being.
Emotions are not something to be feared or run away from, they are quite the opposite. They are something to embrace, whether it's a ‘positive’ or ‘negative’ emotion. They are just an alarm that is ringing that indicates there is a need we need to attend too. It could be a need to go to heal something within, or a need to take a break from our environment, work, relationships etc. It is up to each individual to determine what their own emotions are letting them know.
The teaching of repressing certain emotions, mainly negative ones is generally passed down through parental teachings. A type of tool that has been used throughout the generations on how we should handle and express our emotions. Which creates this intergenerational trauma that has been unconsciously passed down. There are plenty of reasons why this type of teaching was passed down, and it would lead back to survival reason. A majority of people have experienced events that have put them into survival mode and not having the right tools to deal with those events creates a coping mechanism of repressing emotions.
This was a way their body and mind keep them safe during those traumatic events. That is what initially what survival mode is. Our body goes into flight or fight response to keep us alive and safe. When we are in flight or flight response for a long period of time our way of responding and relating to dangerous events can be altered. When we are overly anxious or overthinking of the next danger ahead. Those anxieties and paranoia are actually a trauma response. When finding where those anxieties and paranoia stems from, we find the root of it all which was a traumatic event that has happened in the past, which created this thinking patterning and narrative of 'everything going wrong'. We anticipate things to go wrong or something to come up because we have conditioned into that way of thinking.
THINKING PATTERN
Our thinking pattern is so important that it doesn't phase us. It's just an automatic thing we do and the crazy part is that we don't realise that we are in autopilot. Where we are following a bunch of conditioning, blueprints, programming and beliefs that we have adapted and taken as part of ourself. We don't see this as an 'abnormal' thing, to be thinking negatively or in the state of constant self-doubt, because we are so used to it and conditioned into thinking we are our thoughts. When in reality we are more than our thoughts. Wild thing is that we can alter our thinking. We are able to reconstruct our patterning. We can change all those, although with this desire to change comes with work and effort. Work and effort that is needed to be put in an investment in our future self, which we will be thankful for when the future becomes the present moment. In the present moment of changing and reconstructing our brain patterning, it is uncomfortable and daunting, as it is the Unknown. If we have lived our lives through negative thinking and the constant state of self-doubt, having an optimistic outlook on life and ourself is the Unknown.
I was thrown into this whole ascension journey, unconsciously. I felt a pain that I couldn't understand why I was feeling it. I was very lost and didn't know myself outside my trauma. Which initially put me on the path of healing. I wanted to know who I was outside my pain, trauma, and my victimhood. I was done looking at myself as a victim or feeling like I was powerless. I wanted to know why I would still feel a certain way about an event that occurred so long ago.
I was seeking truth from within.
Coming to an understanding of what trauma is and the effect it has on our body system was groundbreaking. When I began educating myself on what trauma is and the short and long term effects it has, not only in regards to our body system but how it affects our livelihood. It removed this sense of brokenness within me. It removed the concept that I needed 'fixing' and that there was something 'wrong' with me. When reality all I needed and required was healing.
THERAPY/COUNSELLING
Seeking professional help in regards to therapies and counselling is not something to be ashamed or shame others for. The desire to healing is an empowering tool and a brave act to go within. To know and see ALL parts of ourself. Having the desire to seek the truth from within takes and gives you the power of bravery, courage, straight, resilient and love. Healing is an act of self-love. Having the desire to step out of our own programming and conditioning. The desire to want to know who we are outside of our pain, wounds and trauma is empowering. Our present moment self might be scared and unsure if this is a path we want to embark in. Although our future self (Higher Self) is looking at us and encouraging us to embark it, because deep down it's the way of experiencing the unconditional love, not just from others around us but from ourself. As within, so without.
The stigma and negative quantitation attach to counselling are around, not just within our society but our family and friends dynamics. Nobody can force others to seek professional help, that is something no one has control over. It's the knowledge that each of our healing processes is different and when we do embark into this path; we will be parting ways with people and have to make the conscious choice of detaching and letting go of that connection, because of compatibility reasons. Those people who don't want to embark in this path just yet. As nobody is ahead and behind with healing and we all have our own timeline.
Being compassion to those who we have parted way with and to the parts of ourself that we're able to relate to them. By accepting ALL parts of ourself, the decisions that have led as to where we are now. We have to hold ourself accountable, not blaming ourself or others. We are taking accountability that the actions we have taken were from a place of hurt and pain. That is/was the core root of our actions and behaviours. So please give ourself compassion and understanding, that concept of 'hurt people, hurt people'. Even if at the time we thought that was the right way of handling a certain situation. We know better know in our present time. So let our experiences and past be teaching that we can acquire lessons from. Lessons that are going to help us evolve, grow and heal to the person we are meant and destined to be.
Don't EVER give up on yourself, take a rest BUT NEVER GIVE UP
Be Kinder, Less Critical