My experience with my spiritual awakening was that spirituality was far from being just love and light. The beginning stages of a spiritual awakening it was dark, sorrow and I thought I was losing my mind; that I was going 'crazy'. I learnt that spirituality had its shadows and we also had a shadow.
At the time I was unpacking my toxic behaviours, my narcissism, my co-dependency and the lack of love for myself. I was healing the part of myself that resonated with all the trauma responses that manifested themselves as my 'personality traits'. This was when I stumbled upon the famous psychoanalyst and psychologist Carl Jung. He was one of the grandfathers of psychology and his work incorporated spirituality into it, which is why I resonate with his work so much.
He theorised the term Shadow Self was an aspect of us that was located in our subconscious and was formed due to the experiences of pain, rejection and trauma. For me this makes sense, we tend to suppress the unpleasant memories we have which are attached with heavy emotions. Where we were conditioned to be a certain way from our family and social dynamics, or else we will not be accepted, loved or succeed in life.
Our shadow is not evil or bad, sometimes we hide gifts, talents and unique personality traits because we experienced rejection, which creates this internalisation of shame and guilt. Our shadow is something not to fear, as it's the fragment of our-self that desires and craves love and acceptance.
Personally, shadow healing has been one of the most profound and empowering types of healing I've done. This was where I learnt to be honest, take accountability, ground myself in my authenticity and self-worth. Realising that our worth and sense of love is something we can cultivate from within. It's not something we can buy online or look for in other people, as they don't define it for us.
With our shadow also comes light. When doing shadow healing it's important to bring the light towards those aspects of our self. To embrace our shadow, we have to learn to give our self-compassion, kindness, acceptance and forgiveness. That the wounds, traumas and rejections we experienced do not define our future or where we are heading.
Spirituality for me has given me closure for my childhood abuse, it's brought me healing knowing that all the pain I went through wasn't for nothing. That now I have cultivated this sense of love, empowerment and wholeness which was by transmuting my pain and traumas.
Having healed aspects of myself, which put me in a position to share and spread the wisdom and healing I have found. Knowing that I am an example to those who might feel as they are lost and their pain defines them because, in reality, it doesn't. This wasn't done just with love and light. This was done by embracing my shadow; the most wounded, darkest and deepest part of myself.
Trusting our process of healing and our spirituality is key. The thing is with spirituality, no two spirits are the same. We might resonate with the person across us, although might not resonate with the person next to us. It doesn't make anyone less spiritual, we are all on our journey; a journey to find what is fulfilling for us, seeking our purpose and reasons we get up in the morning and continue with our lives.
Realising that we all have beauty, light and peace that lives within us and we are simultaneously flawed, imperfect and shadow beings. The gem about the human consciousness is that we were given free will; the free will to choose what we give our attention and energy towards and what we let go of.
The foundation of spirituality is freedom and while our past wounds and traumas still linger around us that sense of freedom isn't there. That is why healing and spirituality go hand in hand. Having to face our darkest and painful experiences and memories have so much power and light within them. The light of compassion, resilience, strength, bravery and courage; those light lives within our darkness and the wisdom we hold from our experiences are the treasures we will not find anywhere else.
When we are put on a path to look within and heal, don't turn away from it, don't drink it away, escape or run from it. Look at it in the eyes, just like the other times you looked at your challenges and hurdles. The times you thought you couldn't overcome them, although you did. Life cannot be rainbows and sunshine at all times. Life has polarities all around us, which includes our experiences. This is why our hard times are there as those are the time we practice our free will, to continue and cultivate more resilience, courage and strength.
Overcoming our challenges and hurdles is always worth it, in the present moment it might not seem like it, although when we get to the rewards of it all, we are grateful we continued and persevered.
By: Merichel Sanchez
Embracing our spirit includes the shadow, don't turn this aspect of our self away as we'll go on cyles to only go back and reclaim it.
Trusting that we all go through cycles and experiences not to break us but to build us to who we truly are meant to be. Inner work is challenging, tiring and at times sh*tty, although the rewards of finding the love within and our authentic self is something we can not buy or will ever find outside of our-self.
To embrace the spirit, we much heal what broke our spirit in the first place. Spirituality has always had shadows and it is not the time to ignore them, it's the time to embrace them and show them the light.
Be Kinder, Less Critical