The Journey

Channelled messages about this journey called life. Mention of grief, healing and wisdom I’ve found along my journey.

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Without the journey, there is no destination. The journey is the path that leads us to our destination ie. our future. When we think about it the reason we end up where we are is because of the decisions and actions we take during the present moment ie. our journey. 

Whether we like it or not we control our life, our emotions, our perception, our beliefs, the actions we take, the decisions we make; we control our life. No one else does and there is beauty in that. The weight we feel is the responsibility of knowing we make the decisions and create a life we want for ourselves. I am not saying it’ll have no challenges, but following our hearts desires is something that leads us to the path of our most wholeness and highest. 

At times we don’t trust our hearts because of past experiences. Experiences that made us doubt the decisions we made when following our heart, although those same experiences taught us valuable lessons that assisted our emotional and mental maturity. Without those experiences, we won’t have the level of awareness and consciousness we have now. 

Our heart needs to have space to grief; grief the old life, versions and ways of living. Our heart is a vessel and portal to our wholeness and creating a life we were meant to live out; a life aligned to our authenticity. Grief looks different on everyone’s path. It’s about deciding what type of medicine works well for us individually and not pushing it on others; as one medicine might work well for us and for some, it’d do more harm than good. 

The journey of life is sacred because it doesn’t look the same for everyone. We all live out different and unique energy signatures and that’s how it’s suppose to be. We are not all meant to have the same seeds in our garden, we are all supposed to create one that is in alignment with us. We can only determine what is alignment because we are the biggest expert of ourselves.

Once we embody that concept we won’t constantly seek out validation from outside of ourselves and be swayed to being or doing what is not a reflection of who we are. 

To know who we are, we have to sit down with ourselves and get to know ourselves. Learn how our history (past experiences) impacted and influenced our moves in creating the version that we see in the mirror today. Healing is part of the journey and we don’t necessarily have to go through life-altering experiences to need to heal. It could be having to learn how to regulate our emotions as adults or letting go of insecurities about the relationship we have with our bodies and food. Those areas of our lives still impact our journey of following our hearts desires.

It’s important to hold space and give ourselves compassion and kindness while reminding ourselves that we move from the level of awareness and consciousness, we have at the time when making the decisions. It’s important to remember this because at times we can be our biggest bully and we can forget this concept very easily when the inner critic’s volume is cranked up. 

Hold grace for the times we just didn’t know and forgive ourselves for our past. It’s the part where we let go, not just for the other person (or the other side of the rope we’ve been clinging onto), but for ourselves too. Forgiveness frees us from the past and the emotions we have attached to it. Forgiveness comes in layers and it’s something we can’t force onto ourselves. It’s something we have to surrender to, meaning the emotions that are covering the ways to self-forgiveness is something we must go through. We can’t suppress them either or force ourselves to forgive when we’re not ready. 

Healing is all about providing the opposite experiences we are healing from. So when we are learning how to regulate our emotions, we can’t be suppressing them because to regulate them we have to become familiar with them. We do this by sitting with them, feeling them in our body and then naming them, so next time it comes up for us we know what is happening and how to act occurring.

Truth be told, I don’t think anyone knows what happens after this journey, we can theorise about it and create beliefs base on our theories although we’ll never really know until we meet ‘the end’ of the journey. 

So might as well live a life in alignment with our authenticity and know that we went after what we desire despite the fear, doubt and challenges we had. The journey is where it’s all at. It’s where we will always be. The destination is the destined future and the journey is the here and now. 

In this journey, the key is to let go of timing and the how’s of how life is supposed to play out. Learn to enjoy the process from X to Z and hold onto the lessons instead of the emotional reactions we experienced, because at the end of the day we can control our inner world more than we can control our external world. 

PS: Fear is always going to talk us out in not going after what we desire, although the key is to acknowledge the fear and move through it; take the actions we need to get us closer to our desires because we control and have power for our life. 

Like always, Be Kinder, Less Critical.

A List Of (my) Truths About Self-Love

The first few steps into loving our-self unconditionally are to admit our insecurities and where we lack love for our-self. This is where we have to begin. We have to be able to acknowledge the things that are no longer serving our highest good or our evolution.

At times we adapt beliefs, narratives, patterns, habits etc. base on survival mode. It doesn't necessarily mean it reflects who we are authentically. It's never easy having to face aspects of our-self that we've suppressed and rejected. It's uncomfortable sitting and unpacking our insecurities and our lack mentality. These are the challenges we face when we step into learning to love our-self unconditionally and just like any other challenges, we can overcome these.

The List-

IT'S A JOURNEY:

Loving our-self is not about the destination nor does it have to have a deadline or some sort of 'ending' to it. - In the context of healing and inner work, there is a need to remove timing and expectation on needing to be 'fully healed'. These types of expectations are the beginning to create the recipe for disappointment and unnecessary pressure. It's never about the destination anyway. The journey is located in the present moment and that's the moment that truly matters. That’s the only moment we are genuinely in.

OUR LIGHTS AND TOOLS:

The best ways to cultivate unconditional love is to be compassionate, loving, empathetic, nurturing, kind and forgiving towards our-self. - There will never be an amount of shame, judgement, hatred or rejection that will yield unconditional love. Those aspects are not needed when we are healing and reclaiming our power back. We must bring in the opposite experience we had to our reality to heal. Being loving, empathetic and kind towards our-self is a habit that becomes effortless the more we practise it.

(Side note: If you are having trouble providing these needs at this moment, begin with liking yourself and just hating yourself a little less each day. Begin spotting or listing all the things that went right instead of what went wrong. Practise listing gratitude each day and counting your blessings. - Train yourself to spot at least one blessing in your experiences or what you are grateful for.)

THE INFRASTRUCTURE:

Reconstructing our foundation and belief system doesn't happen overnight. - This process of reconstructing our inner world takes time and with timing, we do not control it. By focusing our energy on the things we do control such as our effort, work and patience we stand in our power and not give it to things that are not in our control. This is also a great way to remember that it's okay if we fall back to our old habits or behavioural patterns. Just because we fall back to old ways doesn't mean our progress has been thrown out the window. Breaking out of behavioural and thinking patterns takes time and cannot be done overnight. Practice patience not just towards the things we don’t control, towards our-self too.

GRIEF:

It's okay to let parts of personality and identity go as we learn to love our-self unconditionally. - Our identity is not set in stone. We can change them whenever we like. As we learn to view our-self from a place of love, we will begin to change aspects of our beliefs, narratives, patterns and conditioning. This will require us to let go of aspects of our-self that is founded in a lack mentality. This is where grief comes in.

Grief looks different on everyone and with grief, it has other emotions compiled on top or by its side. There is no wrong or right way to grief. Not everyone will resonate with how we grieve and vice versa. It's important to remind our-self that grieving is a part of healing. As we let go of the old and outdated perspective we must let go of versions of our-self that resonate with it.

THE BODY, KNOWS:

Our emotions are stored in our body too and not just the mind. - When we are letting go or healing our inner wounds there is a need to feel and sit with what's coming up for us. We have to be able to feel it in our body or at least welcome it in. This can come through as psychical sensation in an area of our body or as tears. Processing our emotion also doesn't have a deadline or timer set on them.

There are just times our emotions take time to process and be able to let go of the energy attached to them. Please welcome in compassion and empathy. Each time we process it, we gain a new level of perspective. Where we begin to view it through the lens of optimism.

A handy technique I recently learned was the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). It’s where we tap parts of our body as we say the negative emotion we are feeling in a form of a mantra. We say the negative mantra as we tap because it’s a way to welcome it into our body and feel it. Here is a reel of Kate an EFT practitioner explaining the benefits of using this technique. - Instagram Reel

Life will always have its hurdles to overcome, that's how life was constructed. Life also has polarities; we also experience wins and successes. Loving our-self is not all rainbows and sunshine. Having to remind our-self that self-love is not supposed to be perfect. It's supposed to be accepting our-self as we are.

We are not supposed to be perfect.

We are allowed to make mistakes, fuck up and learn from them. As that's all we can go if we've made a mistake. As long as we’re learning and continue to take the lessons instead of the expectations.

Don't feel as we have to be at a certain 'stage' or cycle in our journey. Trust your own timing, journey, evolution, growth and self. All this inner work simultaneously goes hand in hand. They are the puzzle pieces and each and one of them is as important as the next; as it requires to create the whole image.

Be Kinder, Less Critical.