The Journey

Channelled messages about this journey called life. Mention of grief, healing and wisdom I’ve found along my journey.

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Without the journey, there is no destination. The journey is the path that leads us to our destination ie. our future. When we think about it the reason we end up where we are is because of the decisions and actions we take during the present moment ie. our journey. 

Whether we like it or not we control our life, our emotions, our perception, our beliefs, the actions we take, the decisions we make; we control our life. No one else does and there is beauty in that. The weight we feel is the responsibility of knowing we make the decisions and create a life we want for ourselves. I am not saying it’ll have no challenges, but following our hearts desires is something that leads us to the path of our most wholeness and highest. 

At times we don’t trust our hearts because of past experiences. Experiences that made us doubt the decisions we made when following our heart, although those same experiences taught us valuable lessons that assisted our emotional and mental maturity. Without those experiences, we won’t have the level of awareness and consciousness we have now. 

Our heart needs to have space to grief; grief the old life, versions and ways of living. Our heart is a vessel and portal to our wholeness and creating a life we were meant to live out; a life aligned to our authenticity. Grief looks different on everyone’s path. It’s about deciding what type of medicine works well for us individually and not pushing it on others; as one medicine might work well for us and for some, it’d do more harm than good. 

The journey of life is sacred because it doesn’t look the same for everyone. We all live out different and unique energy signatures and that’s how it’s suppose to be. We are not all meant to have the same seeds in our garden, we are all supposed to create one that is in alignment with us. We can only determine what is alignment because we are the biggest expert of ourselves.

Once we embody that concept we won’t constantly seek out validation from outside of ourselves and be swayed to being or doing what is not a reflection of who we are. 

To know who we are, we have to sit down with ourselves and get to know ourselves. Learn how our history (past experiences) impacted and influenced our moves in creating the version that we see in the mirror today. Healing is part of the journey and we don’t necessarily have to go through life-altering experiences to need to heal. It could be having to learn how to regulate our emotions as adults or letting go of insecurities about the relationship we have with our bodies and food. Those areas of our lives still impact our journey of following our hearts desires.

It’s important to hold space and give ourselves compassion and kindness while reminding ourselves that we move from the level of awareness and consciousness, we have at the time when making the decisions. It’s important to remember this because at times we can be our biggest bully and we can forget this concept very easily when the inner critic’s volume is cranked up. 

Hold grace for the times we just didn’t know and forgive ourselves for our past. It’s the part where we let go, not just for the other person (or the other side of the rope we’ve been clinging onto), but for ourselves too. Forgiveness frees us from the past and the emotions we have attached to it. Forgiveness comes in layers and it’s something we can’t force onto ourselves. It’s something we have to surrender to, meaning the emotions that are covering the ways to self-forgiveness is something we must go through. We can’t suppress them either or force ourselves to forgive when we’re not ready. 

Healing is all about providing the opposite experiences we are healing from. So when we are learning how to regulate our emotions, we can’t be suppressing them because to regulate them we have to become familiar with them. We do this by sitting with them, feeling them in our body and then naming them, so next time it comes up for us we know what is happening and how to act occurring.

Truth be told, I don’t think anyone knows what happens after this journey, we can theorise about it and create beliefs base on our theories although we’ll never really know until we meet ‘the end’ of the journey. 

So might as well live a life in alignment with our authenticity and know that we went after what we desire despite the fear, doubt and challenges we had. The journey is where it’s all at. It’s where we will always be. The destination is the destined future and the journey is the here and now. 

In this journey, the key is to let go of timing and the how’s of how life is supposed to play out. Learn to enjoy the process from X to Z and hold onto the lessons instead of the emotional reactions we experienced, because at the end of the day we can control our inner world more than we can control our external world. 

PS: Fear is always going to talk us out in not going after what we desire, although the key is to acknowledge the fear and move through it; take the actions we need to get us closer to our desires because we control and have power for our life. 

Like always, Be Kinder, Less Critical.

Letting Go Of OLD Paradigm

Taken by Merichel Sanchez

Experiencing traumatic circumstances during our childhood creates a ‘dint’ within our mental, emotional and spiritual development. It can sometimes cause as to mature much quicker than other children or take on responsibilities that are not ours to carry. There are many different scenarios of what childhood trauma does to a person.

It will not look the same for everyone, which is normal. One of the best ways to heal and understand trauma for our selves is by educating our self on what happens with it. Understanding that trauma does not just stay in our mind, it also stores in our body. As the mind and the brain are connected through the nervous system.

-- The thing is with our mind, as soon as we process new information, the other information in our consciousness will make its way to our subconscious, eventually until we ‘forget’ about it. This is a way for new current information to be processed, learnt and adapted into our mind.
We might not even be aware that we are holding onto a belief, memory, emotion or conditioning that is rooted in our traumatic experiences. It does this thing where if we ignore it in one area of our life, it will manifest and shapeshift itself into other areas; until we can no longer ignore it.

Trauma healing is hard, daunting, uncomfortable and scary. I’m not going to sit here and create this illusion that it’s easy and glamorous or just love and light type of inner work. I can’t tell you how much times I’ve finished a box of tissue within all my therapy sessions. It’s this inside joke I’ve had with all my therapies because during the first couple sessions, I use to finish like 2 boxes of them in one session and toward the end, I’d only go through 5 sheets of tissue papers. This joke is so funny to me and it shows the process of what therapy does.

I use to cry when the question ‘who is Merichel?’ would pop up. This question was so daunting to me because I didn’t know who I was. The things that came to mind was the habits I participated in which was drugs, partying, sex and being mentally ill. I was the one that people would go to for advice and vent too, the ‘counsellor’ of the group. Those were the characteristics I believed made up of my identity.

The deeper I unpacked my traumas I realised that those roles and identities were trauma responses and the desire to escape reality through substance abuse, sex and partying had deeper roots and reasoning behind it; which was trauma. Same with mental illness, since I was a teen I’ve always dealt with mental illness and the idea of it not being embed with my identity was confronting. It's like who am I if I'm not that sad, depressed, anxious girl?

At the time the thought of unpacking my identity and the root cause of the behaviours I indulged in was scary. It was stepping into the unknown. It's the first awareness I had of the unknown. I didn’t know who I was outside of my trauma, my pain, illness and trauma responses, I had zero clues.

If I had the 2019 version of myself in front of me, I would embrace her and that's it. No word just embrace and acceptance for where I was at during that moment. Expressing enough gratitude and love I have for all the versions of myself that held pain and trauma; for believing that it was the way of living until something tragic would happen to me. A belief I didn't know I was holding on to at the time.

Facing my trauma and pain was the key to my self-awareness. No drugs, no ritual, no magic just simply facing and feeling my pain awaken my soul.

I began to stop listening to others and retreated to myself. Back to who I am naturally and who I am supposed to be. I went into solitude. I cut off communication with a lot of people that was rooted in trauma bonding and the ones that were one-sided and tended to myself and my own needs.

We get to a point in life that all the identities, roles, bandaids and short term fixes we use and chuck on, are no longer working. It losses its effect and then we are called to either find a harder fix or we go and see what we are running away from.

This is where many people spit up, some go within and some people look for something harder. This doesn’t make them a bad or toxic person, it’s just an example of what pain truly does to a person.

How pain can change someone to someone we can barely recognise today. -

It’s not selfish to tend to our wounds and fill our own cup, especially if we have been always been the ‘healer’ or ‘counsellor’ of the group. Sometimes the best thing we can do for all parties involved is to retreat and tend to our own needs. And those who are our true friends will understand this, they will not take it personally as they hold the same value and concept. For those who take offends to us catering to our own needs, they are not the people we are supposed to build long turn legacy or infrastructure with.

When we experience trauma (especially at a young age) our brain is wired to be in survival mode and constantly looking out for danger. This also means that we have created traits and characteristics base on survival, rather than authenticity. These responses and identities are what we go out into the world creating relationships and attachments with. When we embark on trauma healing, there is a need to let go of those identities we believed made us who we are.

As we free our self from embedding our trauma responses and pain within our identity the attachment we have created based on those versions of ourselves will no longer resonate when we begin to live out authenticity.

Sometimes people coming into our lives to teach as the lesson of who we are and who we are never going to be again and other times they reflect a fragment of our self that need acknowledging and healing. For that, we gratefully thank them for being a part of our journey and showing us the lesson we needed to ascend.

Most of the time we are called to take the lessons with us and have to learn to let the person go. Welcome, grieve in with open arms as we let go of the past versions of ourselves with kindness and compassion that resonated with them. Giving them thanks for having to assist us in overcoming challenges we thought we couldn't at the time. Letting them go with grace and forgiveness for teaching us the valuable lesson that ascending our soul and awareness.

Trauma is never something we asked for nor are we to blame. We do have a choice though, to either heal and grow from it or let it decay us and make us turn into a person we no longer recognise. -

Our past will never define and predict where we are going in the future or what we can accomplish. It doesn't define us nor is it a reflection of who we truly are. Healing is a journey, not a destination, having to let go of the idea that we can't reach content and peace in the present moment is an illusion. We can be at peace and content with our past and heal from it.

We can embark on a new beginning while healing, we don't need to 'fully healed' to be in a new cycle or embark on a beginning/journey. Let go of guilt for having the desire to move from a place of authenticity and higher vibrations. Don't feel bad for having outgrown people or certain versions of our self, instead embrace the change that is we are being lead to.

Enjoy this paradigm shift and transformation that is occurring internally and in our external world. Trust our own process and begin with loving and nurturing our self in the smallest way each day; as those efforts build up to something bigger.

Be Kinder, Less Critical

My Story

I’ve been through heavy and f*cked up situations and I still manage to be here today. I still manage to be kind, full of optimism and life. It wasn’t an easy journey and it wasn’t a walk in the park, it was hard, confronting and uncomfortable as f*ck. 

I’m sharing my story because I want to and my story isn’t about the detail of the abuse, because that is not mine to tell. My story is about how I overcame a trauma that bonded and held me, prisoner, in my own mind for years. 

I am a survivor of sexual abuse. Growing up I was ashamed of what occurred to me. I held on to the belief that it was my fault and that I could have done something to change it or stop it. I grew up with that shame and it manifested itself in many ways and all areas of my life, through platonic and romantic relationships, career, my relationship with myself and my family, academic abilities and the way I moved in life. 

Childhood abuse creates so many distortions and illusions within our self, the world and those around us. It creates filters that are based on shame, hate, judgement and pain. Filters that we go out into the world and use, the same filters we use to cultivate relationships and go after what we want. Although with trauma being the main foundation it’s distorted and usually isn’t what we truly want underneath all of it. -

Trauma healing is not something that we overcome in a certain period of time, it's a gradual process that has its own layers and cycles to it. Each cycle is as important as the next, each of them has lessons, fragments and new experiences we get to taste and reclaim. Trauma healing is reclaiming fragments of our self, as trauma gets us disconnected from our self.  

In my experience in healing it wasn’t necessarily talking about what occurred during the abuse. I spoke about the emotions attached to it, how I felt and how I adapted to my trauma. I spoke about my behaviours, habits, thinking patterns, my belief systems and the narratives I followed about myself and the world around me. -- In order to break out of these patterning and conditioning we have to talk about it and feel it without having to escape them. -- During certain cycle within my healing journey, I was called to quit weed and drugs overall. At the time I wasn’t sure why and I couldn't pinpoint it, although now reflecting back it was because I needed to feel the emotions that were coming to the surface for me. Like I've stated, in order to let it go, we have to feel it and welcome it to our body, especially if we have been repressing them for many years.

Each of our emotions is there to tell us something and give us a sense of awareness. It’s there to guide us. Our emotions are not our enemy, there are there to help us gain self-awareness. 

Trauma healing is not easy and it definitely put me out of my comfort zone. I grew, matured and changed a lot during the process of healing. I mean I’m still healing and growing now although it’s a different level and a new cycle I’m on. It also put me in on a path of spiritual awakening, which I didn’t even know was a thing. 

I’ve learnt that I didn’t have control over my childhood and those around me. I had zero control over people and as a child, I was not to blame. Having a full-grown adult take advantage of someone’s innocents, vulnerability and pure-hearted soul is pure evil. We don’t have to try and comprehend or justify someone’s evilness, we can accept that someone people are just evil and it is what it is. With justifying it or coming with a conclusion does not make it any less wrong, it’s still f*cked up.

From that, I’ve learnt that my story isn’t about being abused, it’s how I’m overcoming it. How I’m still a kind, pure-hearted and optimistic ball of energy, even if I had seen and lived through evil at a young age. I’m taken my power back, found enlightenment and creating a new pave way that isn’t going to mirror my childhood or upbring. 

What occurred during our childhood and upbringing is not for us to continue to carry, we are allowed to put it down and let go of the burden. The burden of shame, guilt and pain. We don’t need to carry them in order to be a strong person. We are strong as we are, having to experience childhood abuse and still be continuing with life is absolutely brave and take a lot sh*t tone of strength to do. 

We’ll all have different ways of processing trauma. It doesn’t make us ‘more broken’ or ‘damaged’ if we went on a different route of processing them. What we did during the times we didn’t know how to deal or had the right tools to deal with our trauma is not who we truly are. Like I’ve stated trauma creates distorted views on our self, where we follow beliefs and narratives that were founded from the traumatic experience. 

When we go on the path of trauma healing it’s pealing all of the illusions, distortion and facade we have created and brought out to the world. For this, we shouldn’t feel guilty about changing or having the desire to know who we truly are, without our trauma and misery being the main piece. 

Underneath all the trauma, pain and hurt are strengths, resilience and courage. It’s all there, it’s just having to peel off all the layers that have blocked us from seeing and stand in our power.


I will continue to tell my story of empowerment and enlightenment to be the example for those who are unsure if trauma healing is for them. I can’t express the gratitude and pride I have for myself for overcoming certain obstacles and seeing the result of the work, effort and patience I have put in. Like I’ve stated it was not a walk in the park, it was a very steep and rocky hike. Although, very worth it because of the view. 

We all have cycles and processes we go through and not all of them have a pleasant view on the side. Some are hard and times we want to give up, although we choose not too, because it’s never been an option to give up. One thing trauma teaches us is resilience. Tap into that inner power of resilience and it’s our golden gem through life. No matter what lemons we get chucked at, we’ll keep going. We might stop to have a good cry or take a break, although we get back up and keep f*cking going. 

No matter what we have gone through in the past don’t let it define our future and who we are and want to become. Our past is a set reality and we can not change it although our future is the complete opposite. It’s the unknown, the uncertainty and a lot of possibilities can happen within that space.

Take a leap of faith in yourself, you might be surprised what you’ll stumble upon on. 

Be Kinder, Less Critical