( DISCLAIMER: I am not a professional expert of narcissism or codependency. I am speaking from my own personal experiences and the ways I have overcome my own traits of narcissism and codependency. )

Art Created by Iuliastration — **Art Created by** **Iuliastration**

Those who have a high level of narcissism and codependency traits will usually match up. As the person who has narcissism is seeking a partner who can validate and willing to go along with the illusion they have created. Whereas the co-dependent person will go along because they are seeking acceptance and love. They will tend to abandon parts of themself to feel those certain levels of security. They create this overtaking or over giving dynamic.

The most common trait both of these types of personality have are they are both deeply insecure and wounded. They either need others or external validation for their worthiness and a sense of acceptance. Rather than seeking it within them and finding it from within. As they live under the illusions and conditioning that their worth and a sense of acceptance are something that can be found outside of themself.

People who are secure within themself, do not need to go out and seek their worth from external things and others. They have a sense of security because they are grounded with who they are and they have cultivated self-love. -

There is a difference between narcissism and narcissistic. People who suffer from narcissistic personality disorder lack guilt and it's harder for them to recover from that type of personality. Whereas someone who has a high level of narcissism, they usually adopt this from their upbringing. Where the children's material and physical needs were met although their emotional and mental needs were neglected or abandoned. Where the parents would only validate and accept them if they got external achievements such as metals or awards and never acknowledging the internal achievements such as over mental illness.

This creates conditioning that their worth and sense of acceptance is tied to material and physical possession as well as external achievements. Where this type of conditioning will be followed throughout their lives which then gets passed down throughout generations. That is an example of an intergenerational cycle many of us are on. This also gets the former adult to seek outside of themselves which always puts them in a runner chaser dynamic. Where they feel the need to constantly achieve more than they should because they have attached their self-worth and love to material and external. Which is a sign of a heightened Ego.

- Someone can have a certain level of narcissism traits, although might not necessarily be diagnosed with a narcissistic personality disorder.

Codependency is abandoning parts of ourself and seeking out acceptance, love and validation from others. There are many traits that are linked with being codependent, such as people-pleasing, lack of boundaries, low level of esteem or worth and a hard time saying no.

People who have a level of co-dependency will abandon parts of themselves to be liked or accepted. They fear of being alone which the reason why many of us tend to stay with people who we know are not compatible with us, not just romantically but also friendship wise. It also gets us in positions where we might be at risk because we have trouble of saying no and have a lack of knowledge and practise of putting up boundaries which get easily manipulated and harmed.

For each individual, it'll be different. Everyone does through different situations in their upbringing. Most of the root cause is from experiencing lack of boundaries as a child or not having set an example of people around us who have a secure sense of self or worth.

This isn't a time to blame our upbring or our parents. As an adult, we are responsible for our healing and how we cope with our emotions. It does suck when we are not given the right tools to overcome these hurdles. - Although we can choose with our free will to either repressed it or we can reparent ourself. Our parents didn't know any better. If we observe our family dynamics we will see a pattern which has most likely have been past down as parental teaching throughout the bloodline. - This is an opportunity to break cycles within our own bloodlines, so we do not further past it down to our future kins.
(Deeper depths of the concept of Breaking Generational Cycle: Link)

Both narcissism and codependency are deep-rooted from a lack of security with their self-esteem and worth. - The difference is with a narcissistic person, they can hold up a persona that they are deeply secure and confident although within themself that person is completely the opposite. There are also different types of narcissistic. Not all narcissistic people are confident and want the spotlight on them. Those types of narcissism are very easily spotted in a sense. - There are types where people with a certain level of narcissism will play the victim role. Where they are deeply rooted in the victim mentality and feel as everyone and everything is out to get them. So then they pursue and act out vindictive behaviours and are able to justify them because of the mindset they have.
Many narcissistic people feel like a victim, although someone will play this role to get what they want in life or a partner that will play and continue their illusions. Again narcissism comes in a spectrum, it will not be the same for everyone. It's about being aware of the signs and red flags.

That is why it is most likely for someone to be paired up when they have a certain level of co-dependency with someone who also has a level of narcissism. - With the use of spirituality, religion or their past shouldn't bypass the abuse and toxicity people go through in these types of dynamics. When people use their past as a way to bypass their current behaviour that is a form of manipulation and gaslighting. - Nobody has a choice of whatever circumstance had happened in the past. The current partner we do have in the present also did not create those circumstances.

When we have unhealed wounds that are not tended to. We move from a place of those unhealed wounds, whether we realise it or not. - When we become toxic and abusive to those who just want to love us. We can not use our past as our bypassing. - This context is different for each individual. It's using your decrement and common sense to alter this information for each individual reader.

It's different if both partners are on the same page and actively changing and heading towards growth and evolution of their own individual soul.

With romantic relationships, love and a spark are not enough. Compatibility has to be taken into account too. Not just with each person's interests, hobbies and like. It also comes with their goals, future, values and morals. - Sometimes we seem like we fit with people because of the spark they ignite within us, although when we look deeply we realise that it was only that spark we had in common. We then decide to embark on our own not because they are not worthy but we seek more than just a spark.

We tackle and heal our narcissism and codependency by loving ourself. Where we begin to break out of our whole foundation that is attached to the conditioning of narcissism and codependency. Any type of conditioning or beliefs that narrated that our worth and sense of self is attached to others needed to be reconstructed. This is where we have to unpack why we believe we do not deserve unconditional love and find the root cause it. Which is usually attached in our childhood.

A reminder that our childhood is where we build and create the first foundation that we bring out to the world. When we create one base on an unstable and unsteady foundation, to begin with, it's not going to last long or we will mirror that same instability. It's like using a table with three and a half legs. Learning to love ourself comes with inner work, patience and time. The harsh truth is that many of us want inner peace, contentment and a secure sense of self, although not many of us are willing to do the inner work. Which requires the level of security we are looking for from within. -

It's a process that takes us out of our comfort zone. To a place that we might not even be aware of or even know to exist. - Love that has attachments is not true love. We have to accept people for the way they are without trying to change them. It is not our job nor do we have the right to change others for liking. -

To truly love someone is to accept them for exactly who they are and even then we get to decide to either stay by their side or love them the distance. - Sometimes we have to choose to love ourself in order to feel unconditional love and that is okay.

__________________________

PROFESSIONAL EXPERTS - Links to their social media:

Dr. Ramani - YouTube
Sarah Kamoto - Instagram
Megan Dorthy - Instagram
Hailey Magee - Instagram

BE KINDER, LESS CRITICAL

TRIGGER WARNING

(Topic: Human Trafficking, Social Conditioning, Pedophilia, Sexual Abuse.)

Human trafficking is the REAL PANDEMIC that has been occurring right under our noses and our home country. The human trafficking industry is the modern slave trade that is occurring. It's disheartening to know and hear that these types of evil and vile acts happen. That there are millions of children and adults who are being used as slaves, sold and treated like they are items. -

This industry has a lot of traction and billions of dollars being poured into it. Countries like the Philippines, Thailand, Yemen, Syria and Venezuela where the condition of availability for work and high rate paying jobs are very limited. These countries are just an example of poverty that is occurring in some countries. Poverty is a social issue that is one of the main cause of human trafficking. People in these countries have very limited access to opportunities that remove them from poverty. Where they get manipulated and persuaded into working in brothers and other dangerous conditions. Where they act from a survival mode and instinct.

Living in the condition of poverty many get trapped into doing things they don't want to do. Although due to the lack of money, material abundance and opportunities they pursue working in these industries such as sex workers. -

Many recruit agencies that work for the brothers will manipulate and persuade children to work in these places. It's like a chain reaction, where they use one slightly older child to get closer to other children. It's manipulation tactic they use. They sell this narrative that it'll be amazing and they'll get loads of money with barely doing anything. Having someone who pushes past the children's boundaries will eventually breakthrough. As many children are left unsupervised because their parents are at work and busy trying to make ends meet. Childhood is the time where we learn about boundaries and certain tools to avoid being manipulated and used, although there are circumstances where we can not learn those tools and one of those circumstances is poverty.

We have to shift our mindset and perception when trying to educate ourself about human trafficking. There is a reason why certain countries have higher rates than others. When we observe we’ll notice that countries that have a higher rate of poverty will most likely have a high rate of human trafficking. These countries are left undetected, with a high rate of corruption with the authority figures misusing their power and have low coverage in regards to the mainstream media. It's left unattended and continues this cycle of stealing and using humans as slaves.

We all have a free will and can choose what we pour our energy towards. We can choose to turn a blind eye and ignore. Or we can choose to educate ourself and learn ways of contributing to spreading awareness and light to this horrific industry.

For people who have trouble comprehending or even believing that people in power, celebrities and government agencies could do such evil acts to random children and people. To put it in perspective, some people do these evil and vile acts to their kin, under there own homes. It's daunting and confronting coming to terms with this information. There is no denying that sexual violence is not an issue. Which it is. It isn't an individual issue, it is a social issue.

The issue today with social media and certain contents people produce is they very desensitized and over-sexualized. Sexualizing contents are exposed to children everywhere they look through film, television, popular music, advertisement, print media and the internet. Once we open our eyes to see through all these programing we begin to see how certain creators try to plan message within young peoples mind about over sexualising themselves. Example of this is in the popular show Riverdale. Let's not forget the charters within this shows are in high school. There is plenty of scenes where they over sexualise these characters. - It's not about banning all these types of content. It's about being selective on what we consume and what we present to young children.

Many people who have a certain power and status within our society ie. celebrities, people in government agencies, social media influencers etc. these types of people have a certain power attached to them. With that power comes with influence. They might not be consciously aware of it or even care about it although they have that attachment to them. With those type of power comes responsibility. Everyone has their free will on how they should create and produce their artist endeavours and ways of making money.

There is nothing wrong in expressing ourself through our body and being proud of our sexuality although we have to think about the influence it has with younger generations. We fill in and desensitize them the harm and violence. Creating this mindset of an adult in a child. When they can be easy manipulated by adults to act in sexual manners. This is the type of influence that social media influencers, popular music, movies and TV show that has on children. It's disturbing, it is an act of grooming children to be me compliant and normalized sexual act in such a young age. When reality it isn't normal to have this much sexualisation over children. -

This is one way of controlling and manipulating the mass population into the agenda of normalising pedophilia. There was a TED talk by Mirjam Heine (a medical student) who spoke about pedophilia being a sexual orientation that was "unchangeable". Which rubbish, pedophilia is NOT A SEXUAL ORIENTATION. It is a mental disorder. Anyone who is sexually attracted to a minor is an indication that there is something mentally wrong with them. It is the wiring of their brain. There is no justification for being attracted and sexualising young children. -

Pornography is very accessible nowadays. Where we can get any type of porn with a few taps on our devices. Many believe that it’s ‘empowering’ for people to work as porn stars. Although what we do not see is behind the scene of these takes and the deep-rooted reason why many people go in this industry. Which actually lead back to trauma. Here is a video of someone’s experience in the porn industry; ‘Growing up in the Porn Industry’.

The porn industry is tied in with human trafficking. This industry contributed to normalising sexual violence such as rape within sexual intimacy, creating harmful and objectifying contents are not realistic. There have been cases where missing children were found on the website PornHub. Their abuse was filmed and put up on the internet. There are many cases where people had to continue with their healing with the knowledge that their abuse is on the internet for the world to find. Here is a link of Jessa’s story found on the Instagram account Fight the New Drug.

The industry of human trafficking alone makes 99 billion dollars.

This industry is the real pandemic that has been occurring for so many years. That occurs in so many ways. Not just through porn or kidnapping. Traffickers target people who are vulnerable, experiencing homelessness or coming from broken homes. They use violence, fear, illusions, threats and many manipulation tactics to groom their victims. This pandemic does not only target a skin race or skin colour. This targets everyone, as long as the traffickers make a profit off it. This a vile and sickening industry that is occurring every day. It’s heartbreaking to know this information. It’s also alarming to know that it is not being broadcast on mainstream media as much as the covid updates.

This writing piece is to shine a light into the shadows within our society and how we have been conditioned. When we do not address the elephant in the room it is not going to go away because it is ignored.

There are ways we can help and contribute to ending human trafficking. By educating and being aware it is occurring we are taking the first steps. When we stop turning a blind eye we can use our voice and speak up for those who can not. Some organisations deal with and tackle human trafficking. Where they organise rescue missions and have put in support for the survivors healing recovery.

It's uncomfortable having to come to terms with human trafficking and children being exploited for sex and work labourers. The wildest thing is it's not just children, some young adults go through these horrific conditioned. Some who have been exposed to this from the day they were born. To try to comprehend what they have gone through and are going through is something that is just pure evil. Many have stared the devil in the eyes. These devils are victims and survivors abusers. - So when I tell you Hell is real and it's here right on Earth. Trust and believe many have been through hell and back. -

With this shadow comes a light too, as we can experience Hell we can also experience Heaven. As Heaven is the opposite polarity of Hell. - Everyone’s Hell will look different for everyone, so will Heaven. We do not need to die to experience both. When our psychical body stops working our consciousness and soul do not dissipate, it lives on. - Each and one of us deserve healing and to have our voice heard.

We have a voice for a reason and we can choose how to use it. We can put it to use for those who are silent and do not know how to use their own. When we begin to use our voice for those who do not know they have their own or the power to do so, we are stepping into our greatness. We are stepping into helping the innocent and the collective. Being the example for those around us and the younger generation to use their voice when injustice occurs.

SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS TO FOLLOW: