INNER WORK

Inner work is about healing, mending, unpacking, embracing and letting go. Many things come with inner work. Inner work takes honesty, accountability, empathy, compassion, embracing and learning or unlearning. 

Inner work is not glamorous. This is a stage where we unpack certain beliefs, narrative and past trauma or experiences that still holds so much weight with us in the present. - Are we really living in the present if we are still holding the weight from the past? 

When we are healing we are doing the inner work. There is no healing without the inner work. They both come hand in hand. 

There is this misconception that when we decide to heal our self that we are somehow ‘broken’ or that something isn’t ‘right’ with us. When in reality we are not broken it’s just, we have gone through certain circumstances that have broken our spirit, a secure self and repressed fragments of our true authentic self. The narrative that we are ‘broken’ or a ‘lost cause’ is some of the type of self-limiting beliefs and narrative we tell our self, which is from a lack of love for one self. -

Healing requires us to unpack and dig through our self from an honest and understanding perspective. When we go towards healing with judgments, shame or hatred that is not going to work out, it will only create more need to heal. When we tacking and unpack the fragments that require healing we need to move forward with empathy, compassion and understanding. As those are some of the tools we need to embrace and give the parts of our self that have been judged, shamed or in pain. 

The reason why many of us have ‘broken’ fragments is because of hatred, judgement and shame in the first place. So why and how would more shame, judgment and hatred be healing? 

Healing and inner work is not a competition. Nobody gets a gold medal or is there a finish line. Healing and inner work is a constant job we do throughout our life. We just begin to alter the word of healing and inner work. We get to a point in the process that we see that healing and inner work become learning and setting the example. That we go through experiences in each of our cycles and process which gets us to unlearn or learn some more as our consciousness and soul evolves. - There is no ending to healing or inner work. It is something we do throughout our life if we have a desire to grow and evolve. -

In a simpler definition of healing and inner work, it’s to evolve and expands our consciousness and soul. There are layers that come with healing and inner work. Sometimes we have to unpack a certain layer before we can go deeper. An example; we’d have to dive into our consciousness before trying to see what’s lurking around our subconscious. Because our psyche is in layers, we can not expect to get information from our subconscious if we do not even what is going on within the conscious part of our psyche. - That is why healing and inner work comes in layers and has their processes and cycles. 

Inner work is something we can not do for others. We can not process others emotions, traumas, circumstances or do the healing and feeling for them. That is not how it works. Inner work and healing is an individual job that requires someone who consciously decides to heal. There are process and cycles we go through with our own healing and inner work. It will not look the same for everyone and it shouldn’t. As we are all have had unique and different experiences here on Earth. It’s not about comparing or sizing up one another’s personal growth or evolution. It’s called personal for a reason. - 

Nobody is a better and more reliable source than our self. It doesn’t matter how long person X, Y or Z have known us. The version or image they have created about us are not our responsibilities. We can not control others perceptions or emotions that is something we will never have control over. It shouldn’t change the fact that we will continue to heal, grow and evolve even though others have outdated versions of us in their minds. That is not our responsibility or our job to fix. Those perceptions of us are their business and reflect their own evolution and growth. - That is something we can not control.

When we begin to get fixated with controlling others or anything that is out of control we will begin to feel anxious and out of balance within our self. Even trying to control how others should view us, is a waste of time and energy.

This type of behaviour is a way we give our power and energy away. When we grasp the concept that we shouldn’t focus too heavily on things we can not control and with that, we can begin to learn to let go. Letting go is an important skill to have throughout our life. If we do not learn how to let go, will go on and continue to hold on to things or people that no longer serve us or is no longer as important as they use to be. Causing more pain and hurt for our self.  - 

The idea of letting go frightens people and there could be many various reasons. For me personally, it’s the idea that something has ended. Although what I’ve learnt is that every ending have a new beginning. That’s how the Universe works. Sometimes we have to put something to bed in order to begin something new within or our external world. 

Many people like to hold on to the illusion that they can control everything and everyone if they ‘behaviour’ or ‘act’ a certain way. Although we learn throughout life that is not how it works. That we have very little control of many things outside of our self and that includes people. When we begin to try and control everything and everyone we lost our self in the process. As we have to live out a persona and a facade to keep a certain illusion up afloat for others to be ‘controlled’. This is a manipulation tactic, we do not really control others we are just simple manipulating them. But then again because we are manipulating our self to be a certain way to ‘control’ others perception about us or a circumstance etc. We are not playing others, we are playing our self. -

With inner work, we can unpack these types of actions and behaviours by digging into the root cause of it. We can not just look at the stems that come with our conditioned behaviours. We have to find where it began, so then we can ‘pull it out’ so there are no more stems that come out of it. -
There is no easy way around or out of inner work, it is something we can choose to do for our self. We can get others to do it for us although that will not have a large or longer-term impact and it’s selfish. - When we expect others to do our inner work for us when we can not even do it for our self, that is selfish. Especially if we haven’t even given it a shot or a try. - We do have free will for a reason. We can choose to go within or continue to seek outside of our self. 

We have to make a conscious decision about doing our inner work. There is no quick fix to do inner work. There is no substance or a person in the world that can create a divinity of an impact within us but our self.

Facing our pain, hurt or traumas that hold such a huge impact on us (whether we are aware of it or not) is daunting and in a sense frightening. When we go through life holding on to our pain, hurt and trauma which has created our ‘personality’ and a way to relate to others, it’s hard to let go because it means we have to find our self outside of those ‘personalities’ and personas. - Hopping on the train of inner work isn’t just unpacking and digging through our past and experiences. It also has a new beginning that comes with it. Which is the new beginning of a new ideology of our self. Finding who we really are underneath all the pain, hurt and traumas we have endured throughout our life. It’s the new beginning of authenticity and fulfilment, which we all deserve. Healing and inner work is the beginning of authenticity and fulfilment. 

By doing the inner work and healing ourself we go through the process and the cycles that the past is the past. That no matter how much we fixate and retell stories about it, it’s over. When we give so much of our power and energy to a reality that is no longer even in the present or near our future it blocks our own blessings and manifestations. - In the process of our healing we have our set timelines and no one is going to have the same. A reminder that we all run on different schedules with Divine timing. Each and one of us will have a different process and cycle of healing. DO NOT compare our process and cycles to others as that is not how it works. - 

It’s called inner work for a reason. 

The tools we do all use in our own process and cycles are honesty, accountability, empathy, compassion, embracing and learning or unlearning. Those tools are how we are going to find unconditional love within our self that has been repressed. Either way, those tools are the key and light when going within. Never forget to bring those tools and light with us when going deeper within our self. And each time we dig deeper we will find new tools that will help ascend and evolve our consciousness and soul. There is no finish line between healing and inner work. Although every ending ALWAYS has a new beginning. -

From someone who has gone through a large amount of healing and inner work, I say all this with love. I do. - These are the wisdom and knowledge I have found within me that’s very collective. I know how hard and confusing it is in the early stages of healing. It’s draining and almost feel as it’s a waste of time. Although the efforts and work we put into our healing and our self are extremely rewarding. It’s something no one can give to us or take away from us. When we begin to see our worth and find unconditional love for our self, that is the most precious gift and investment we can give our self. 

I never thought I’d love or accept myself the way I do now. Healing and inner work are not rainbows and sunshine at all times. It is daunting, uncomfortable and scary. I say this not to frighten people but because I do not want to give false expectation to others who do decide to heal. I do not want to create illusions within people that healing isn’t supposed to be scary or uncomfortable, because of it. The biggest growth and epiphanies we have is from the things that scare us the most. No growth or evolution ever happened within comfort zones. There was always a level of discomfort. Trust and become aware of our own process and cycles, as we all have one. Be open to feeling discomfort while healing and ascending because that’s where the real magic is.

Sometimes the new beginning we ask for is within our self first. It’s like that saying ‘as within, so without’. 

BE KINDER, LESS CRITICAL

Created by: Merichel Sanchez

Learning to Trust Ourself

‘Mending the heart’

Trust is an important part of any type of relationship. Without trust, it’s a weak and unstable foundation. Not only do we have to trust others, but we also have to trust ourselves. Having a weak and unstable foundation of trust within ourselves create a refection of those same foundations to our external world. Where we will abandon ourselves to be accepted, validated or loved. We get to a point in life where those facades, masks and persona’s we’ve created to receive a need will not cut it. Meaning that the feeling of emptiness and loneliness we were trying to run away from begins to creep back in or having to experience the worst type of loneliness; feeling alone in a room full of your loved ones.

Having abandoned ourselves for many years, it takes time to learn to trust ourselves. With learning, there are process and cycles we go through. Life isn’t straight forward and we get thrown lemons along this journey. Which can be perceived as a ‘bad thing’ although when we change our perception and see those ‘bad things’ are an opportunity to grow, evolve and a cycle to overcome the challenges that will better equip us to the next cycle of our life. Life has always had lemons, challenges or hurdles (whatever label resonates with you) the best way to equip ourselves is by learning to trust ourselves and the process we are on. The deeper we know and trust ourselves the less fear can talk us out or into things that are not in alignment with our path and soul. Embrace every moment we have, as we know that nothing is ever permanent and that everything and everyone is temporary. - Same goes with our current situations. 

TOOLS OF TRUSTING ourselves

• Accountability

• Compassion

• Validation

• Honesty

• Empathy

• Self Care

• Intuition

• Acceptance
  

When we begin to learn to trust ourselves it’s about holding ourselves accountable for the promises we made with ourselves. It could be as small as going to bed at a certain time or doing an activity to help us get started for tomorrow. Whatever it might be when we make a promise to ourselves and not follow through with it we are teaching ourselves that we can not be trusted. This is a process that comes hand in hand with actions. We need to match the words and promises we make with actions that mirror those. 

When we don’t match the action, it's not an opportunity to bully ourselves or talk down on ourselves. When we don’t follow through it just means there is learning to do with trusting ourselves it's not about failing or not being good enough. Learning to trust ourselves after years of self-betrayal is a process. It's a habit we have to get used to. 

Habits take time to learn and get used to grounding them in our day to day lives. It’s not about pushing ourselves to the point of burnout or shaming. It’s about understanding that the concept that habits take time, practise, effort and patience to mastering. Don’t diminish or brush off the efforts we have put on ourselves because we might not see the results, just yet. Like those efforts, build up to the point that hopping back on the saddle of a habit is going to be much easier to how it used to be. That is why time and patience are needed. Acknowledging this concept so we can let go of timing and surrendering to the fact we can only control our own actions and our entire being. 

Trusting ourselves comes with keeping the promises we've made to ourselves. Where we have overcome a certain obstacle and being able to maintain that promise we've made, long after overcoming it. When we make a conscious decision with the knowledge that isn't in alignment or going to do any good, it is self-betrayal. That is when we abandon a part of ourselves to feel a certain way or go back to a certain habit. When we do this it is showing ourselves that we can not be trusted. A part of learning to trust ourselves is being able to say no and stick to our words. It’s backing up those words with the way we move and take action in our lives. Sometimes words are not enough to prove ourself that we are trusted. 

Trust comes on many levels and it's a spectrum. Different levels come with trusting ourselves and others too. It's not a one way round. In the context of trusting others, it has to be a give and take. With trust comes loyalty and transparency. When we move from a place of dishonesty and a lack of loyalty it is a reflection of how we treat ourselves in those aspects. That is why learning to trust ourselves and being honest is important. How can we trust and be honest with others when we are lying to ourselves? With learning to trust ourselves comes with validating as well. When we take actions to build trust with ourselves, we have to also learn to validate ourselves. The funny thing is that many of us usually go to others to validate something we already want to do or know. Although, there are times if others do not agree with our inner knowing we tend to abandon it. - Unlearning this conditioning that we need others to validate our intuition and inner knowing, is important. It’s not about abandoning people closes to us, it’s about not letting others sway us in making decisions when our intuition tells us otherwise. 

Learning to trust ourselves comes hand in hand with healing, self-love and care. 

In the past, we have experienced betrayal and disappointment because we might have not listened to our intuitions or we are not sure what our intuition feels like. When this is the case it’s required to do Inner Child healing. As children, they have amazing intuition and are very in tune with theirs. If there are people around them who gaslight them or constantly project a lack of self-love for a long period of time (especially during childhood) those types of programming is what they will go out into the world. Where they were taught to abandon their intuition because they were being ‘too sensitive’, ‘crazy’ or made to believe that they were worthless. As they age and time progresses these programming will be so deep within their subconscious that they believe that is who they are. Which is far from reality. 

A part of trusting ourselves is being able to heal and reconstruct our own programming. With healing, it gets us to unpack those programmings and find the deep-rooted cause of them. Healing isn’t bypassing the cause by ‘forgiving and forgetting. Healing is acknowledging, embrace and tending to whatever we come across during the process of unpacking, for good or for bad. It’s being able to learn to accept the past although there is a process to acceptance. We have to feel it before we can accept it. When feeling the knowledge we have come across there are going to be epiphanies and realisation. Which then gives us the ‘missing puzzle’ or a push to head towards acceptance. 

Everyone's has gone through a certain circumstance that has cause heaviness that they still carry to this day. Whether they are consciously or unconsciously aware of them, it does not change the fact we still carry them. When we embark on healing and learning to trust ourselves, we get to see this concept. 

A reminder that everyone goes through similar experiences that will not hold the same outcome as someone else's. It might have the same outline of that experience, although it is never the same. With this concept, we have to come to terms that we can’t compare ourselves with others past, present or future. With this concept, we can stop comparing our lives, healing and learning journey with others. 

Each heaviness has different ways of healing. That is why nobody should compare their healing or experiences with others. - It is not a competition. It's never been a competition. Life, healing and our experiences are not something we receive gold metals on. There are no rankings at the end of our lives. It's just us and all fragments of ourselves. That is why we have to accept ourselves as a WHOLE. 

The truth is that; the only person we can never get rid of is ourselves. We can disconnect from ourselves. We were given a free will to chose, although disconnecting and escaping from ourselves only leads to fulfillments that do not last long. Fulfilments that are surface-level leaving our soul and Higher Self deprive and hungry.

Learning to trust ourselves comes with regaining the trust of our intuition and inner knowing. This is where healing comes in. There were moments in time where we did trust ourselves and intuition although due to outside circumstances that were not in our control. It got us in sticky situations and ‘hard times’. - As wild as this might sound, our Higher Self communicates through our intuition which gets us to move a certain way. Putting us through a circumstance that gets us to learn a valuable lesson. We then gain a new level of perspective and see that we go through certain experiences and circumstances to obtain a higher level of consciousness. Which comes with maturing emotionally and mentally. - Without those experiences and circumstances, we wouldn’t of gain those new perspectives. Sometimes we have to go through certain things so our mindset can be stretch to a point that we didn’t know was possible. When we go through certain things like this, giving ourselves compassion, understanding, kindness and empathy. - A reminder that we move from of a place of the knowledge and level of consciousness we are at those moments. 

Letting go of our intuition is when we abandoned our Higher Self. Our intuition is our Higher Self and that is how that part of ourselves communicates to us. The part of us knows things without having an explanation and it’s that feeling no one can explain although, just know it. That is our intuition; our Higher Self. This is a part of our being. Learning to trust ourselves is coming into union with our Higher Self. It’s learning to trust our inner knowing and intuition. It’s having to step out of the norms and creating our own path. Trusting that it will work out. That sometimes we just aren't meant to know where our present actions will lead us. Just hold on to the knowledge that we are learning and letting our Higher Self live out. 

Life is messy, we are messy and accepting that being human is messy. That nothing is perfect and that there is always an opportunity to grow, learn, evolve and change. It's just having to spot them and grab them for ourselves. And choosing to embark on toward those opportunities.  

BE KINDER, LESS CRITICAL